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[It was another day. Another day without Hibiya. The experiment sighed, slowly turning a door knob and walking toward the front of the house. He’d have to leave one day. He knew staying here even without the boy he loves so much wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. This place was all he had to remember Hibiya by. Konoha could go to every room and instantly remember the times he spent with Hibiya there, the times where the two of them were oh so happy together. The times he thought would last forever. It was foolish of him to ever think that, wasn’t it? He was just leading himself into believing the happy future he sought after so much was possible.

Now, in this world without Hibiya, he simply gave up. On everything.

Konoha admitted to himself that he was a failure. A failure of an experiment, and a failure as a person. A failure as Hibiya’s lover. He tried so hard to keep Hibiya safe, to protect and love him, but in the end, he was able to do neither. Konoha would never forgive himself for this. Never. It was painful for him to even think about Hibiya. Why did he leave? The experiment asked himself this question several times a day, and still hasn’t been able to figure out exactly what he did wrong. What was the final straw?]

Hibiya! Do you want to come with me t-

[Silence]

[Konoha frowned, letting his sentence trail off as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He had become so used to Hibiya’s company, so used to always being together, that it was still hard to accept he wasn’t here. Hibiya wasn’t with him. One day, he’d have to fully accept that, but today most certainly wasn’t the day.

Quickly, the experiment opened the front door, he had to get out of the house. He had to get away from his thoughts and the memories before he drove himself to the point of insanity, again. The pain was too much for him to bare. 

It was then that he saw the completely unexpected, causing his eyes to widen and his body to become motionless, the door slowly closing behind him. It was Hibiya. That was him, right? Or was it nothing but a figment of his imagination? Konoha questioned himself, but he knew for a fact that was Hibiya. It had to be him. He was sitting, down at the bottom of the steps, and appeared to be rather upset.

Konoha wanted nothing more but to run up to him and embrace him and never let go.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. Nothing. His heart raced, if he was human he would’ve surely fainted by now, but no. Instead, all he could do was stand motionless as his heart nearly burst out of his chest and as he stares at Hibiya.]

[ the sound of the door opening was what brought Hibiya out of whatever trance he had gotten himself into. The smell of the air, the surroundings, even the familiar people that walked by all reminded him of before. And it hurt, he couldn’t deny that, not for a second. He ignored the familiar sound at first, filing it under a list of things that may just have been an illusion.

But it took a moment and a half for his brain to register that it wasn’t an illusion. No, the door had definitely been opened and closed. But that place should be empty now….or he imagined it to be. Konoha must have left by now the brunette imagined. ]

[ and Hibiya just whips his body around, surprise loud and clear on his face as he looks up. and oh, oh how he wished that it had just been an illusion. but it wasn’t because there he was, Konoha. his mind began to backtrack as he scrambled to get his thoughts together because ‘Konoha is there, and he’s sad- is he?-, and he’s still hasn’t left and-‘

but he doesn’t say anything. Hibiya just sits there, dumbfounded as to why the other was still there. and yet he could read the experiment’s expression; not a hard task to be honest. he realized right there and then that he probably couldn’t have hurt him more even if he had tried. slowly, hibiya’s eyes closed as he took a deep breath, hoping that maybe none of this is happening.

but when he opens them again, he still sees that familiar white haired figure and it’s like a stab to the gut as his heart sinks to his feet and probably underground as well. hibiya doesn’t open his mouth. he wasn’t sure what to say. ]

[Suddenly his head was a mess, nothing made sense anymore. He didn’t know what to do or what to say, he didn’t know anything anymore. Hibiya was here, he was back. Of course, he would come back. This was his house, wasn’t it? Konoha took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down enough just so he could think properly. It didn’t help much. The experiment took note of Hibiya’s expressions, each of them making his heart ache more and more.

Hibiya wasn’t happy to see him.

That much was obvious.

His expressions were ones of pure terror, sadness, along with other negative emotions. Konoha knew the boy well enough by now to know this much, and that made him feel even more horrible about himself and this situation they were now faced with. He should be gone. He should’ve left.

Konoha instantly had so many regrets as he stepped down a few stairs, slowly, his legs shaking quite a bit. What should he do? Should he even do anything? No, no.. he couldn’t hurt Hibiya again. Konoha wouldn’t allow himself to do anything that could possibly hurt the boy.]

I’m sorry.

[Konoha whispered, tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks, as he continued to step down the stairs. Stopping for a split second when he was standing directly next to Hibiya. He couldn’t stay here. It was clear he wasn’t wanted anymore, and he couldn’t blame the boy for wanting him gone.

It was very difficult, to leave. He wanted to tell Hibiya so many things. ‘I’ve missed you so much!’ ‘Please don’t leave again…’ ‘I love you’ but he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything more.

The experiment started to run, as far away from Hibiya as he possibly could, far away from their house, far away from everything. The tears showing no sign of stopping. There was no other choice, was there? Besides, Hibiya was okay. Now he’d be able to return to living in his house and enjoying his life again. Everything would be okay. Even without him there.

Everything would be better now.]

[ everything went too fast for Hibiya. one second he looked like a deer in the headlights and the other was crying and it was his fault wasn’t it it probably was. and when Konoha stood right next to him he looked up into those red eyes that he still loved even at that moment. his arm rose somewhat, as he reached out weakly towards the older teenager. ]

“K-Konoha…!”

[ at the last syllable of Konoha’s name, Hibiya’s voice cracked as he finally felt his throat choke up with the feelings that were beginning to overwhelm him. everything was going wrong and he was certain, just one hundred percent certain that Konoha hated his guts.

And then he saw the other break into a sprint.

At first, Hibiya’s shocked expression didn’t change, as he just stared at Konoha’s back become smaller and smaller, to begin joining with the background. Half a minute later something in him clicked, as his wits finally came back together and he knew he couldn’t just stay put, staring off to the distance.

Hibiya broke out into a sprint, and for once he was glad that he was the fastest in his class. His feet carried him as fast as they could, he could hear his heart pounding against his ear, but he could still breathe. But he was approaching the white haired boy, closer and closer with each second. He stretched his arm outwards once more. ]

KONOHA!!!

[Continuing to run, he forced himself not to look back. He wouldn’t look back on the future he messed up on for himself, the future he could’ve had with Hibiya… it was no longer possible. The boy he loves so much hated him now, and this was the only thing left to do. Konoha needed to leave, he needed to do this, he needed to run. Where? That was still to be decided, for now, he just needed to get away from Hibiya before he managed to upset him even more.

It wasn’t until he heard his name yelled that he stopped, standing completely still on the sidewalk.

It was Hibiya’s voice.

Hibiya… was following him? This made the experiment rather confused, but he didn’t have any complaints. He couldn’t have any. Konoha didn’t once consider how angry the boy probably was with him, he let out a defeated sigh as he turned around to face the direction of the voice. If Hibiya followed all of this way to scold him for his mistakes, then he would have no choice to allow it.

At least he would be able to hear his voice again.

Even if it was the last time.]

“Yes….?”

[His face was covered in a mixture of sweat and tears, voice shaky and threatening to break at any second. Still, he would force himself to stand completely still and listen to everything Hibiya had to say. No matter how much it hurt, he would listen and accept it. Besides, he deserved it, right? Konoha convinced himself he deserved this, for putting the boy through so much pain, he deserved to suffer as much as he possibly could.]

[ the first thing that had gone right in Hibiya’s life these past few weeks was the image of Konoha stopping on his tracks at the sound of his voice. He slowed down, stopping to a halt right in front of the experiment. He closed his eyes, his breathing labored and shaky.

he eyed Konoha, surprise, worry, and regret all mixed in the brunette’s own expression. It confused Hibiya why the other sounded so mellow, almost as if he had given up. But wasn’t Konoha angry at him? Wasn’t he going to get yelled at for what an idiot he was? He deserved that, at least. ]

I…….I…….

[ Hibiya’s voice then cracks and he can feel the tears begin streaming down his face. He wrapped his arms around Konoha, wrapped him in a tight hug, and buried his face in the other’s chest. The sobs grew louder. ]

I-I-I’m s-sorry! I’m sorry I left!! I’m sorry I’m sorry, Konoha, p-please. I want to go back with you, please. I m-missed you and I shouldn’t have left and oh my god I’m sorry I’m sorry!

[ and with that, he continues to sob, his arms around Konoha to assure that the other wouldn’t leave. it was the last thing that Hibiya wanted. ]

[ … . ]

[ He remained still, very still, it was almost as if his entire vision went completely dark for a second and nothing around him mattered. This embrace, it wasn’t expected, and Konoha didn’t completely know how to return it. Would it be okay to hug back? It had to be, right? Besides, this would be the last…

Hesitantly, with very cautious and shaky hands, he wraps his arms around Hibiya’s back, giving him a few pats of comfort and trying to make the tears go away ]

Please, you don’t have to feel sympathetic for me. I understand, I made a few unforgivable mistakes. I’m sorry, I should’ve been gone a while ago, I just…

[ A pause ]

I just wanted to be able to see you again.

[ That’s what this was, right? An act of sympathy, one done out of purely sympathy and sympathy alone. Konoha knew he didn’t deserve any type of affection, not after what happened. Hibiya had to leave his own house because of his presence, and that alone was enough to lead Konoha to assume the worst.

Even so, he would enjoy this hug, even though he would refuse to show it. ]

Unforgivable….what? What are you talking about?

[ Konoha’s choice of words stopped Hibiya’s sobbing abruptly, and he looked up to the experiment in surprise. He couldn’t get what was going on; why was he still blaming himself? After the tearful, apology, was he still blaming himself?

For a while, he stayed in silence, doing his best to regain control of his shaky breathing, until it was back to normal. One deep breath after another, Hibiya. Control your emotions. In this time, the sounds of the bustling crowds and cars kept him anchored to reality. ]

It isn’t your fault. Why would you think it is?

[ Many ideas ran through his mind. Konoha seemed to have a very pure mindset, easy to be deceived and to take blame. Guilt tripping seemed out of the question, or at least Hibiya hoped, for the exact same reasons. But Hibiya had already shouldered the blame and apologized for his actions. So why would the other continue? ]

[ Konoha blinks, nervously averting his gaze. Could it be that he said something wrong? No, no, he couldn’t have. If this was going to be their last opportunity to see each other then there was no time for mistakes. He allowed silence to sweep over, nearly lost in thought and struggling to figure out how to handle this situation. ]

You left because of me, correct? I’m sorry, I… I must’ve messed everything up. I didn’t purposely upset or hurt you, I promise. I would never.

[ Not his fault? There was no way everything wasn’t his fault. Konoha knew for a fact that he was the one in the wrong, he ruined everything for himself, and he managed to even negatively effect Hibiya and his life without carrying any bad intentions. How? How did he get himself in this mess? Konoha wasn’t even sure anymore, what exactly did he do wrong? How did he cross the line? ]

[ Raising his voice, he refused to let the boy take any blame for this. He was not the one at fault. ]

Don’t blame yourself! You… you didn’t do anything wrong, Hibiya. It was me. You didn’t do a single thing wrong, so please.. please don’t cry anymore, it’s all okay.

STOP THAT!

[ It had been the first thing that came from his mouth. To show that he too had a point to prove, Hibiya had also raised his voice over Konoha’s, and over the other noises of the city. Hibiya didn’t think that the experiment would listen if he didn’t speak up.

But that didn’t last long, and after a cough, he brought his tone back to a normal volume. ]

I messed up. I was scared, I guess. I’m scared of what will happen, and I thought that maybe I could just run from August 14th and 15th. Maybe Hiyori would live this time and it could all be okay.

[ there’s a pause as he gulps, wondering how dumb he could actually be to think that. But it was just his desperation that talked to him at that time, and it had been too good to say no. ]

But that’s not an answer. If I don’t do anything, then nothing will be solved…it’ll just….keep going, and if I don’t die, then she will. So it was just me. Just me. Not you, you had nothing to do with this, and if you still think that you did, then I forgive you. Even if you didn’t do anything wrong, I’ll forgive you.

[ The loudness of Hibiya’s voice caught him by surprise, and Konoha could feel his entire body tense up. This wasn’t what he wanted, no, he didn’t want to be the cause of any negative emotions. In fact, those two words echoed through his head over and over until he realized something.

What if it really wasn’t his fault? ]

Hibiya…..

[ Could it really be true, that he wasn’t at fault? If this was the case, then the summer was to blame, wasn’t it? It wasn’t Hibiya’s fault, either. Konoha would refuse to allow him to shoulder any of the blame for this. He was but a child, caught up in this maze of terrible events, and it would be impossible to see him in the wrong at any given time. ]

I understand.

[ Carefully, ever so carefully, he reaches up a hand and uses it to ruffle Hibiya’s hair. ]

Please, do not blame yourself. Even considering the circumstances, I do not see you at fault. You’re so young, and yet, you’re forced to go through so many hardships and tragedies.. I’m sure anyone at your age would’ve reacted in similar ways, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

[ Holding back tears, he smiles, hoping it will motivate Hibiya to do the same. ]

Let’s figure out how to go past the 15th together, yes?

[ There was no other way to describe Hibiya’s expression other than absolutely stupefied. Was he actually forgiven that quickly? After all he had done, after breaking and stomping on Konoha’s heart in such a horrible way, he had actually been forgiven? And not only forgiven, but told that it hadn’t been his fault in the first place.

A soft, warm smile grew on the boy’s face at the realization, and his eyes filled with tears. Quickly, he ducked his head in embarrassment, wiping his tears off with the back of his hand. But the feeling of relief brought on more tears, and unlike the sobs from before, it was happiness that made him cry, every once in a while chuckling. ]


Ha…haha…

[ He rested his head on Konoha’s chest for a while, breathing in the relaxing scent of him and his clothing, before he unwrapped his arms from the older teenager. Hibiya opened his eyes, still watery but no longer crying, and with a small smile on his face. That’s right, there was nothing to be afraid of, nothing at all.

At Konoha’s words, he nodded, as his determination slowly, but surely returned. ]

Yeah, let’s do that. We can do it.

(via konohaha-deactivated20130701)


1 year ago · 14 notes (© augustcycle)

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[It was another day. Another day without Hibiya. The experiment sighed, slowly turning a door knob and walking toward the front of the house. He’d have to leave one day. He knew staying here even without the boy he loves so much wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. This place was all he had to remember Hibiya by. Konoha could go to every room and instantly remember the times he spent with Hibiya there, the times where the two of them were oh so happy together. The times he thought would last forever. It was foolish of him to ever think that, wasn’t it? He was just leading himself into believing the happy future he sought after so much was possible.

Now, in this world without Hibiya, he simply gave up. On everything.

Konoha admitted to himself that he was a failure. A failure of an experiment, and a failure as a person. A failure as Hibiya’s lover. He tried so hard to keep Hibiya safe, to protect and love him, but in the end, he was able to do neither. Konoha would never forgive himself for this. Never. It was painful for him to even think about Hibiya. Why did he leave? The experiment asked himself this question several times a day, and still hasn’t been able to figure out exactly what he did wrong. What was the final straw?]

Hibiya! Do you want to come with me t-

[Silence]

[Konoha frowned, letting his sentence trail off as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He had become so used to Hibiya’s company, so used to always being together, that it was still hard to accept he wasn’t here. Hibiya wasn’t with him. One day, he’d have to fully accept that, but today most certainly wasn’t the day.

Quickly, the experiment opened the front door, he had to get out of the house. He had to get away from his thoughts and the memories before he drove himself to the point of insanity, again. The pain was too much for him to bare. 

It was then that he saw the completely unexpected, causing his eyes to widen and his body to become motionless, the door slowly closing behind him. It was Hibiya. That was him, right? Or was it nothing but a figment of his imagination? Konoha questioned himself, but he knew for a fact that was Hibiya. It had to be him. He was sitting, down at the bottom of the steps, and appeared to be rather upset.

Konoha wanted nothing more but to run up to him and embrace him and never let go.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. Nothing. His heart raced, if he was human he would’ve surely fainted by now, but no. Instead, all he could do was stand motionless as his heart nearly burst out of his chest and as he stares at Hibiya.]

[ the sound of the door opening was what brought Hibiya out of whatever trance he had gotten himself into. The smell of the air, the surroundings, even the familiar people that walked by all reminded him of before. And it hurt, he couldn’t deny that, not for a second. He ignored the familiar sound at first, filing it under a list of things that may just have been an illusion.

But it took a moment and a half for his brain to register that it wasn’t an illusion. No, the door had definitely been opened and closed. But that place should be empty now….or he imagined it to be. Konoha must have left by now the brunette imagined. ]

[ and Hibiya just whips his body around, surprise loud and clear on his face as he looks up. and oh, oh how he wished that it had just been an illusion. but it wasn’t because there he was, Konoha. his mind began to backtrack as he scrambled to get his thoughts together because ‘Konoha is there, and he’s sad- is he?-, and he’s still hasn’t left and-‘

but he doesn’t say anything. Hibiya just sits there, dumbfounded as to why the other was still there. and yet he could read the experiment’s expression; not a hard task to be honest. he realized right there and then that he probably couldn’t have hurt him more even if he had tried. slowly, hibiya’s eyes closed as he took a deep breath, hoping that maybe none of this is happening.

but when he opens them again, he still sees that familiar white haired figure and it’s like a stab to the gut as his heart sinks to his feet and probably underground as well. hibiya doesn’t open his mouth. he wasn’t sure what to say. ]

[Suddenly his head was a mess, nothing made sense anymore. He didn’t know what to do or what to say, he didn’t know anything anymore. Hibiya was here, he was back. Of course, he would come back. This was his house, wasn’t it? Konoha took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down enough just so he could think properly. It didn’t help much. The experiment took note of Hibiya’s expressions, each of them making his heart ache more and more.

Hibiya wasn’t happy to see him.

That much was obvious.

His expressions were ones of pure terror, sadness, along with other negative emotions. Konoha knew the boy well enough by now to know this much, and that made him feel even more horrible about himself and this situation they were now faced with. He should be gone. He should’ve left.

Konoha instantly had so many regrets as he stepped down a few stairs, slowly, his legs shaking quite a bit. What should he do? Should he even do anything? No, no.. he couldn’t hurt Hibiya again. Konoha wouldn’t allow himself to do anything that could possibly hurt the boy.]

I’m sorry.

[Konoha whispered, tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks, as he continued to step down the stairs. Stopping for a split second when he was standing directly next to Hibiya. He couldn’t stay here. It was clear he wasn’t wanted anymore, and he couldn’t blame the boy for wanting him gone.

It was very difficult, to leave. He wanted to tell Hibiya so many things. ‘I’ve missed you so much!’ ‘Please don’t leave again…’ ‘I love you’ but he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything more.

The experiment started to run, as far away from Hibiya as he possibly could, far away from their house, far away from everything. The tears showing no sign of stopping. There was no other choice, was there? Besides, Hibiya was okay. Now he’d be able to return to living in his house and enjoying his life again. Everything would be okay. Even without him there.

Everything would be better now.]

[ everything went too fast for Hibiya. one second he looked like a deer in the headlights and the other was crying and it was his fault wasn’t it it probably was. and when Konoha stood right next to him he looked up into those red eyes that he still loved even at that moment. his arm rose somewhat, as he reached out weakly towards the older teenager. ]

“K-Konoha…!”

[ at the last syllable of Konoha’s name, Hibiya’s voice cracked as he finally felt his throat choke up with the feelings that were beginning to overwhelm him. everything was going wrong and he was certain, just one hundred percent certain that Konoha hated his guts.

And then he saw the other break into a sprint.

At first, Hibiya’s shocked expression didn’t change, as he just stared at Konoha’s back become smaller and smaller, to begin joining with the background. Half a minute later something in him clicked, as his wits finally came back together and he knew he couldn’t just stay put, staring off to the distance.

Hibiya broke out into a sprint, and for once he was glad that he was the fastest in his class. His feet carried him as fast as they could, he could hear his heart pounding against his ear, but he could still breathe. But he was approaching the white haired boy, closer and closer with each second. He stretched his arm outwards once more. ]

KONOHA!!!

[Continuing to run, he forced himself not to look back. He wouldn’t look back on the future he messed up on for himself, the future he could’ve had with Hibiya… it was no longer possible. The boy he loves so much hated him now, and this was the only thing left to do. Konoha needed to leave, he needed to do this, he needed to run. Where? That was still to be decided, for now, he just needed to get away from Hibiya before he managed to upset him even more.

It wasn’t until he heard his name yelled that he stopped, standing completely still on the sidewalk.

It was Hibiya’s voice.

Hibiya… was following him? This made the experiment rather confused, but he didn’t have any complaints. He couldn’t have any. Konoha didn’t once consider how angry the boy probably was with him, he let out a defeated sigh as he turned around to face the direction of the voice. If Hibiya followed all of this way to scold him for his mistakes, then he would have no choice to allow it.

At least he would be able to hear his voice again.

Even if it was the last time.]

“Yes….?”

[His face was covered in a mixture of sweat and tears, voice shaky and threatening to break at any second. Still, he would force himself to stand completely still and listen to everything Hibiya had to say. No matter how much it hurt, he would listen and accept it. Besides, he deserved it, right? Konoha convinced himself he deserved this, for putting the boy through so much pain, he deserved to suffer as much as he possibly could.]

[ the first thing that had gone right in Hibiya’s life these past few weeks was the image of Konoha stopping on his tracks at the sound of his voice. He slowed down, stopping to a halt right in front of the experiment. He closed his eyes, his breathing labored and shaky.

he eyed Konoha, surprise, worry, and regret all mixed in the brunette’s own expression. It confused Hibiya why the other sounded so mellow, almost as if he had given up. But wasn’t Konoha angry at him? Wasn’t he going to get yelled at for what an idiot he was? He deserved that, at least. ]

I…….I…….

[ Hibiya’s voice then cracks and he can feel the tears begin streaming down his face. He wrapped his arms around Konoha, wrapped him in a tight hug, and buried his face in the other’s chest. The sobs grew louder. ]

I-I-I’m s-sorry! I’m sorry I left!! I’m sorry I’m sorry, Konoha, p-please. I want to go back with you, please. I m-missed you and I shouldn’t have left and oh my god I’m sorry I’m sorry!

[ and with that, he continues to sob, his arms around Konoha to assure that the other wouldn’t leave. it was the last thing that Hibiya wanted. ]

[ … . ]

[ He remained still, very still, it was almost as if his entire vision went completely dark for a second and nothing around him mattered. This embrace, it wasn’t expected, and Konoha didn’t completely know how to return it. Would it be okay to hug back? It had to be, right? Besides, this would be the last…

Hesitantly, with very cautious and shaky hands, he wraps his arms around Hibiya’s back, giving him a few pats of comfort and trying to make the tears go away ]

Please, you don’t have to feel sympathetic for me. I understand, I made a few unforgivable mistakes. I’m sorry, I should’ve been gone a while ago, I just…

[ A pause ]

I just wanted to be able to see you again.

[ That’s what this was, right? An act of sympathy, one done out of purely sympathy and sympathy alone. Konoha knew he didn’t deserve any type of affection, not after what happened. Hibiya had to leave his own house because of his presence, and that alone was enough to lead Konoha to assume the worst.

Even so, he would enjoy this hug, even though he would refuse to show it. ]

Unforgivable….what? What are you talking about?

[ Konoha’s choice of words stopped Hibiya’s sobbing abruptly, and he looked up to the experiment in surprise. He couldn’t get what was going on; why was he still blaming himself? After the tearful, apology, was he still blaming himself?

For a while, he stayed in silence, doing his best to regain control of his shaky breathing, until it was back to normal. One deep breath after another, Hibiya. Control your emotions. In this time, the sounds of the bustling crowds and cars kept him anchored to reality. ]

It isn’t your fault. Why would you think it is?

[ Many ideas ran through his mind. Konoha seemed to have a very pure mindset, easy to be deceived and to take blame. Guilt tripping seemed out of the question, or at least Hibiya hoped, for the exact same reasons. But Hibiya had already shouldered the blame and apologized for his actions. So why would the other continue? ]

[ Konoha blinks, nervously averting his gaze. Could it be that he said something wrong? No, no, he couldn’t have. If this was going to be their last opportunity to see each other then there was no time for mistakes. He allowed silence to sweep over, nearly lost in thought and struggling to figure out how to handle this situation. ]

You left because of me, correct? I’m sorry, I… I must’ve messed everything up. I didn’t purposely upset or hurt you, I promise. I would never.

[ Not his fault? There was no way everything wasn’t his fault. Konoha knew for a fact that he was the one in the wrong, he ruined everything for himself, and he managed to even negatively effect Hibiya and his life without carrying any bad intentions. How? How did he get himself in this mess? Konoha wasn’t even sure anymore, what exactly did he do wrong? How did he cross the line? ]

[ Raising his voice, he refused to let the boy take any blame for this. He was not the one at fault. ]

Don’t blame yourself! You… you didn’t do anything wrong, Hibiya. It was me. You didn’t do a single thing wrong, so please.. please don’t cry anymore, it’s all okay.

STOP THAT!

[ It had been the first thing that came from his mouth. To show that he too had a point to prove, Hibiya had also raised his voice over Konoha’s, and over the other noises of the city. Hibiya didn’t think that the experiment would listen if he didn’t speak up.

But that didn’t last long, and after a cough, he brought his tone back to a normal volume. ]

I messed up. I was scared, I guess. I’m scared of what will happen, and I thought that maybe I could just run from August 14th and 15th. Maybe Hiyori would live this time and it could all be okay.

[ there’s a pause as he gulps, wondering how dumb he could actually be to think that. But it was just his desperation that talked to him at that time, and it had been too good to say no. ]

But that’s not an answer. If I don’t do anything, then nothing will be solved…it’ll just….keep going, and if I don’t die, then she will. So it was just me. Just me. Not you, you had nothing to do with this, and if you still think that you did, then I forgive you. Even if you didn’t do anything wrong, I’ll forgive you.

(via konohaha-deactivated20130701)


1 year ago · 14 notes (© augustcycle)

experimentalfoliage:

augustcycle:

experimentalfoliage:

augustcycle:

experimentalfoliage:

augustcycle:

experimentalfoliage:

[It was another day. Another day without Hibiya. The experiment sighed, slowly turning a door knob and walking toward the front of the house. He’d have to leave one day. He knew staying here even without the boy he loves so much wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. This place was all he had to remember Hibiya by. Konoha could go to every room and instantly remember the times he spent with Hibiya there, the times where the two of them were oh so happy together. The times he thought would last forever. It was foolish of him to ever think that, wasn’t it? He was just leading himself into believing the happy future he sought after so much was possible.

Now, in this world without Hibiya, he simply gave up. On everything.

Konoha admitted to himself that he was a failure. A failure of an experiment, and a failure as a person. A failure as Hibiya’s lover. He tried so hard to keep Hibiya safe, to protect and love him, but in the end, he was able to do neither. Konoha would never forgive himself for this. Never. It was painful for him to even think about Hibiya. Why did he leave? The experiment asked himself this question several times a day, and still hasn’t been able to figure out exactly what he did wrong. What was the final straw?]

Hibiya! Do you want to come with me t-

[Silence]

[Konoha frowned, letting his sentence trail off as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He had become so used to Hibiya’s company, so used to always being together, that it was still hard to accept he wasn’t here. Hibiya wasn’t with him. One day, he’d have to fully accept that, but today most certainly wasn’t the day.

Quickly, the experiment opened the front door, he had to get out of the house. He had to get away from his thoughts and the memories before he drove himself to the point of insanity, again. The pain was too much for him to bare. 

It was then that he saw the completely unexpected, causing his eyes to widen and his body to become motionless, the door slowly closing behind him. It was Hibiya. That was him, right? Or was it nothing but a figment of his imagination? Konoha questioned himself, but he knew for a fact that was Hibiya. It had to be him. He was sitting, down at the bottom of the steps, and appeared to be rather upset.

Konoha wanted nothing more but to run up to him and embrace him and never let go.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. Nothing. His heart raced, if he was human he would’ve surely fainted by now, but no. Instead, all he could do was stand motionless as his heart nearly burst out of his chest and as he stares at Hibiya.]

[ the sound of the door opening was what brought Hibiya out of whatever trance he had gotten himself into. The smell of the air, the surroundings, even the familiar people that walked by all reminded him of before. And it hurt, he couldn’t deny that, not for a second. He ignored the familiar sound at first, filing it under a list of things that may just have been an illusion.

But it took a moment and a half for his brain to register that it wasn’t an illusion. No, the door had definitely been opened and closed. But that place should be empty now….or he imagined it to be. Konoha must have left by now the brunette imagined. ]

[ and Hibiya just whips his body around, surprise loud and clear on his face as he looks up. and oh, oh how he wished that it had just been an illusion. but it wasn’t because there he was, Konoha. his mind began to backtrack as he scrambled to get his thoughts together because ‘Konoha is there, and he’s sad- is he?-, and he’s still hasn’t left and-‘

but he doesn’t say anything. Hibiya just sits there, dumbfounded as to why the other was still there. and yet he could read the experiment’s expression; not a hard task to be honest. he realized right there and then that he probably couldn’t have hurt him more even if he had tried. slowly, hibiya’s eyes closed as he took a deep breath, hoping that maybe none of this is happening.

but when he opens them again, he still sees that familiar white haired figure and it’s like a stab to the gut as his heart sinks to his feet and probably underground as well. hibiya doesn’t open his mouth. he wasn’t sure what to say. ]

[Suddenly his head was a mess, nothing made sense anymore. He didn’t know what to do or what to say, he didn’t know anything anymore. Hibiya was here, he was back. Of course, he would come back. This was his house, wasn’t it? Konoha took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down enough just so he could think properly. It didn’t help much. The experiment took note of Hibiya’s expressions, each of them making his heart ache more and more.

Hibiya wasn’t happy to see him.

That much was obvious.

His expressions were ones of pure terror, sadness, along with other negative emotions. Konoha knew the boy well enough by now to know this much, and that made him feel even more horrible about himself and this situation they were now faced with. He should be gone. He should’ve left.

Konoha instantly had so many regrets as he stepped down a few stairs, slowly, his legs shaking quite a bit. What should he do? Should he even do anything? No, no.. he couldn’t hurt Hibiya again. Konoha wouldn’t allow himself to do anything that could possibly hurt the boy.]

I’m sorry.

[Konoha whispered, tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks, as he continued to step down the stairs. Stopping for a split second when he was standing directly next to Hibiya. He couldn’t stay here. It was clear he wasn’t wanted anymore, and he couldn’t blame the boy for wanting him gone.

It was very difficult, to leave. He wanted to tell Hibiya so many things. ‘I’ve missed you so much!’ ‘Please don’t leave again…’ ‘I love you’ but he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything more.

The experiment started to run, as far away from Hibiya as he possibly could, far away from their house, far away from everything. The tears showing no sign of stopping. There was no other choice, was there? Besides, Hibiya was okay. Now he’d be able to return to living in his house and enjoying his life again. Everything would be okay. Even without him there.

Everything would be better now.]

[ everything went too fast for Hibiya. one second he looked like a deer in the headlights and the other was crying and it was his fault wasn’t it it probably was. and when Konoha stood right next to him he looked up into those red eyes that he still loved even at that moment. his arm rose somewhat, as he reached out weakly towards the older teenager. ]

“K-Konoha…!”

[ at the last syllable of Konoha’s name, Hibiya’s voice cracked as he finally felt his throat choke up with the feelings that were beginning to overwhelm him. everything was going wrong and he was certain, just one hundred percent certain that Konoha hated his guts.

And then he saw the other break into a sprint.

At first, Hibiya’s shocked expression didn’t change, as he just stared at Konoha’s back become smaller and smaller, to begin joining with the background. Half a minute later something in him clicked, as his wits finally came back together and he knew he couldn’t just stay put, staring off to the distance.

Hibiya broke out into a sprint, and for once he was glad that he was the fastest in his class. His feet carried him as fast as they could, he could hear his heart pounding against his ear, but he could still breathe. But he was approaching the white haired boy, closer and closer with each second. He stretched his arm outwards once more. ]

KONOHA!!!

[Continuing to run, he forced himself not to look back. He wouldn’t look back on the future he messed up on for himself, the future he could’ve had with Hibiya… it was no longer possible. The boy he loves so much hated him now, and this was the only thing left to do. Konoha needed to leave, he needed to do this, he needed to run. Where? That was still to be decided, for now, he just needed to get away from Hibiya before he managed to upset him even more.

It wasn’t until he heard his name yelled that he stopped, standing completely still on the sidewalk.

It was Hibiya’s voice.

Hibiya… was following him? This made the experiment rather confused, but he didn’t have any complaints. He couldn’t have any. Konoha didn’t once consider how angry the boy probably was with him, he let out a defeated sigh as he turned around to face the direction of the voice. If Hibiya followed all of this way to scold him for his mistakes, then he would have no choice to allow it.

At least he would be able to hear his voice again.

Even if it was the last time.]

“Yes….?”

[His face was covered in a mixture of sweat and tears, voice shaky and threatening to break at any second. Still, he would force himself to stand completely still and listen to everything Hibiya had to say. No matter how much it hurt, he would listen and accept it. Besides, he deserved it, right? Konoha convinced himself he deserved this, for putting the boy through so much pain, he deserved to suffer as much as he possibly could.]

[ the first thing that had gone right in Hibiya’s life these past few weeks was the image of Konoha stopping on his tracks at the sound of his voice. He slowed down, stopping to a halt right in front of the experiment. He closed his eyes, his breathing labored and shaky.

he eyed Konoha, surprise, worry, and regret all mixed in the brunette’s own expression. It confused Hibiya why the other sounded so mellow, almost as if he had given up. But wasn’t Konoha angry at him? Wasn’t he going to get yelled at for what an idiot he was? He deserved that, at least. ]

I…….I…….

[ Hibiya’s voice then cracks and he can feel the tears begin streaming down his face. He wrapped his arms around Konoha, wrapped him in a tight hug, and buried his face in the other’s chest. The sobs grew louder. ]

I-I-I’m s-sorry! I’m sorry I left!! I’m sorry I’m sorry, Konoha, p-please. I want to go back with you, please. I m-missed you and I shouldn’t have left and oh my god I’m sorry I’m sorry!

[ and with that, he continues to sob, his arms around Konoha to assure that the other wouldn’t leave. it was the last thing that Hibiya wanted. ]

[ … . ]

[ He remained still, very still, it was almost as if his entire vision went completely dark for a second and nothing around him mattered. This embrace, it wasn’t expected, and Konoha didn’t completely know how to return it. Would it be okay to hug back? It had to be, right? Besides, this would be the last…

Hesitantly, with very cautious and shaky hands, he wraps his arms around Hibiya’s back, giving him a few pats of comfort and trying to make the tears go away ]

Please, you don’t have to feel sympathetic for me. I understand, I made a few unforgivable mistakes. I’m sorry, I should’ve been gone a while ago, I just…

[ A pause ]

I just wanted to be able to see you again.

[ That’s what this was, right? An act of sympathy, one done out of purely sympathy and sympathy alone. Konoha knew he didn’t deserve any type of affection, not after what happened. Hibiya had to leave his own house because of his presence, and that alone was enough to lead Konoha to assume the worst.

Even so, he would enjoy this hug, even though he would refuse to show it. ]

Unforgivable….what? What are you talking about?

[ Konoha’s choice of words stopped Hibiya’s sobbing abruptly, and he looked up to the experiment in surprise. He couldn’t get what was going on; why was he still blaming himself? After the tearful, apology, was he still blaming himself?

For a while, he stayed in silence, doing his best to regain control of his shaky breathing, until it was back to normal. One deep breath after another, Hibiya. Control your emotions. In this time, the sounds of the bustling crowds and cars kept him anchored to reality. ]

It isn’t your fault. Why would you think it is?

[ Many ideas ran through his mind. Konoha seemed to have a very pure mindset, easy to be deceived and to take blame. Guilt tripping seemed out of the question, or at least Hibiya hoped, for the exact same reasons. But Hibiya had already shouldered the blame and apologized for his actions. So why would the other continue? ]

(via konohaha-deactivated20130701)


1 year ago · 14 notes (© augustcycle)

experimentalfoliage:

augustcycle:

experimentalfoliage:

augustcycle:

experimentalfoliage:

[It was another day. Another day without Hibiya. The experiment sighed, slowly turning a door knob and walking toward the front of the house. He’d have to leave one day. He knew staying here even without the boy he loves so much wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. This place was all he had to remember Hibiya by. Konoha could go to every room and instantly remember the times he spent with Hibiya there, the times where the two of them were oh so happy together. The times he thought would last forever. It was foolish of him to ever think that, wasn’t it? He was just leading himself into believing the happy future he sought after so much was possible.

Now, in this world without Hibiya, he simply gave up. On everything.

Konoha admitted to himself that he was a failure. A failure of an experiment, and a failure as a person. A failure as Hibiya’s lover. He tried so hard to keep Hibiya safe, to protect and love him, but in the end, he was able to do neither. Konoha would never forgive himself for this. Never. It was painful for him to even think about Hibiya. Why did he leave? The experiment asked himself this question several times a day, and still hasn’t been able to figure out exactly what he did wrong. What was the final straw?]

Hibiya! Do you want to come with me t-

[Silence]

[Konoha frowned, letting his sentence trail off as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He had become so used to Hibiya’s company, so used to always being together, that it was still hard to accept he wasn’t here. Hibiya wasn’t with him. One day, he’d have to fully accept that, but today most certainly wasn’t the day.

Quickly, the experiment opened the front door, he had to get out of the house. He had to get away from his thoughts and the memories before he drove himself to the point of insanity, again. The pain was too much for him to bare. 

It was then that he saw the completely unexpected, causing his eyes to widen and his body to become motionless, the door slowly closing behind him. It was Hibiya. That was him, right? Or was it nothing but a figment of his imagination? Konoha questioned himself, but he knew for a fact that was Hibiya. It had to be him. He was sitting, down at the bottom of the steps, and appeared to be rather upset.

Konoha wanted nothing more but to run up to him and embrace him and never let go.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. Nothing. His heart raced, if he was human he would’ve surely fainted by now, but no. Instead, all he could do was stand motionless as his heart nearly burst out of his chest and as he stares at Hibiya.]

[ the sound of the door opening was what brought Hibiya out of whatever trance he had gotten himself into. The smell of the air, the surroundings, even the familiar people that walked by all reminded him of before. And it hurt, he couldn’t deny that, not for a second. He ignored the familiar sound at first, filing it under a list of things that may just have been an illusion.

But it took a moment and a half for his brain to register that it wasn’t an illusion. No, the door had definitely been opened and closed. But that place should be empty now….or he imagined it to be. Konoha must have left by now the brunette imagined. ]

[ and Hibiya just whips his body around, surprise loud and clear on his face as he looks up. and oh, oh how he wished that it had just been an illusion. but it wasn’t because there he was, Konoha. his mind began to backtrack as he scrambled to get his thoughts together because ‘Konoha is there, and he’s sad- is he?-, and he’s still hasn’t left and-‘

but he doesn’t say anything. Hibiya just sits there, dumbfounded as to why the other was still there. and yet he could read the experiment’s expression; not a hard task to be honest. he realized right there and then that he probably couldn’t have hurt him more even if he had tried. slowly, hibiya’s eyes closed as he took a deep breath, hoping that maybe none of this is happening.

but when he opens them again, he still sees that familiar white haired figure and it’s like a stab to the gut as his heart sinks to his feet and probably underground as well. hibiya doesn’t open his mouth. he wasn’t sure what to say. ]

[Suddenly his head was a mess, nothing made sense anymore. He didn’t know what to do or what to say, he didn’t know anything anymore. Hibiya was here, he was back. Of course, he would come back. This was his house, wasn’t it? Konoha took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down enough just so he could think properly. It didn’t help much. The experiment took note of Hibiya’s expressions, each of them making his heart ache more and more.

Hibiya wasn’t happy to see him.

That much was obvious.

His expressions were ones of pure terror, sadness, along with other negative emotions. Konoha knew the boy well enough by now to know this much, and that made him feel even more horrible about himself and this situation they were now faced with. He should be gone. He should’ve left.

Konoha instantly had so many regrets as he stepped down a few stairs, slowly, his legs shaking quite a bit. What should he do? Should he even do anything? No, no.. he couldn’t hurt Hibiya again. Konoha wouldn’t allow himself to do anything that could possibly hurt the boy.]

I’m sorry.

[Konoha whispered, tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks, as he continued to step down the stairs. Stopping for a split second when he was standing directly next to Hibiya. He couldn’t stay here. It was clear he wasn’t wanted anymore, and he couldn’t blame the boy for wanting him gone.

It was very difficult, to leave. He wanted to tell Hibiya so many things. ‘I’ve missed you so much!’ ‘Please don’t leave again…’ ‘I love you’ but he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything more.

The experiment started to run, as far away from Hibiya as he possibly could, far away from their house, far away from everything. The tears showing no sign of stopping. There was no other choice, was there? Besides, Hibiya was okay. Now he’d be able to return to living in his house and enjoying his life again. Everything would be okay. Even without him there.

Everything would be better now.]

[ everything went too fast for Hibiya. one second he looked like a deer in the headlights and the other was crying and it was his fault wasn’t it it probably was. and when Konoha stood right next to him he looked up into those red eyes that he still loved even at that moment. his arm rose somewhat, as he reached out weakly towards the older teenager. ]

“K-Konoha…!”

[ at the last syllable of Konoha’s name, Hibiya’s voice cracked as he finally felt his throat choke up with the feelings that were beginning to overwhelm him. everything was going wrong and he was certain, just one hundred percent certain that Konoha hated his guts.

And then he saw the other break into a sprint.

At first, Hibiya’s shocked expression didn’t change, as he just stared at Konoha’s back become smaller and smaller, to begin joining with the background. Half a minute later something in him clicked, as his wits finally came back together and he knew he couldn’t just stay put, staring off to the distance.

Hibiya broke out into a sprint, and for once he was glad that he was the fastest in his class. His feet carried him as fast as they could, he could hear his heart pounding against his ear, but he could still breathe. But he was approaching the white haired boy, closer and closer with each second. He stretched his arm outwards once more. ]

KONOHA!!!

[Continuing to run, he forced himself not to look back. He wouldn’t look back on the future he messed up on for himself, the future he could’ve had with Hibiya… it was no longer possible. The boy he loves so much hated him now, and this was the only thing left to do. Konoha needed to leave, he needed to do this, he needed to run. Where? That was still to be decided, for now, he just needed to get away from Hibiya before he managed to upset him even more.

It wasn’t until he heard his name yelled that he stopped, standing completely still on the sidewalk.

It was Hibiya’s voice.

Hibiya… was following him? This made the experiment rather confused, but he didn’t have any complaints. He couldn’t have any. Konoha didn’t once consider how angry the boy probably was with him, he let out a defeated sigh as he turned around to face the direction of the voice. If Hibiya followed all of this way to scold him for his mistakes, then he would have no choice to allow it.

At least he would be able to hear his voice again.

Even if it was the last time.]

“Yes….?”

[His face was covered in a mixture of sweat and tears, voice shaky and threatening to break at any second. Still, he would force himself to stand completely still and listen to everything Hibiya had to say. No matter how much it hurt, he would listen and accept it. Besides, he deserved it, right? Konoha convinced himself he deserved this, for putting the boy through so much pain, he deserved to suffer as much as he possibly could.]

[ the first thing that had gone right in Hibiya’s life these past few weeks was the image of Konoha stopping on his tracks at the sound of his voice. He slowed down, stopping to a halt right in front of the experiment. He closed his eyes, his breathing labored and shaky.

he eyed Konoha, surprise, worry, and regret all mixed in the brunette’s own expression. It confused Hibiya why the other sounded so mellow, almost as if he had given up. But wasn’t Konoha angry at him? Wasn’t he going to get yelled at for what an idiot he was? He deserved that, at least. ]

I…….I…….

[ Hibiya’s voice then cracks and he can feel the tears begin streaming down his face. He wrapped his arms around Konoha, wrapped him in a tight hug, and buried his face in the other’s chest. The sobs grew louder. ]

I-I-I’m s-sorry! I’m sorry I left!! I’m sorry I’m sorry, Konoha, p-please. I want to go back with you, please. I m-missed you and I shouldn’t have left and oh my god I’m sorry I’m sorry!

[ and with that, he continues to sob, his arms around Konoha to assure that the other wouldn’t leave. it was the last thing that Hibiya wanted. ]

(via konohaha-deactivated20130701)



experimentalfoliage:

augustcycle:

experimentalfoliage:

[It was another day. Another day without Hibiya. The experiment sighed, slowly turning a door knob and walking toward the front of the house. He’d have to leave one day. He knew staying here even without the boy he loves so much wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. This place was all he had to remember Hibiya by. Konoha could go to every room and instantly remember the times he spent with Hibiya there, the times where the two of them were oh so happy together. The times he thought would last forever. It was foolish of him to ever think that, wasn’t it? He was just leading himself into believing the happy future he sought after so much was possible.

Now, in this world without Hibiya, he simply gave up. On everything.

Konoha admitted to himself that he was a failure. A failure of an experiment, and a failure as a person. A failure as Hibiya’s lover. He tried so hard to keep Hibiya safe, to protect and love him, but in the end, he was able to do neither. Konoha would never forgive himself for this. Never. It was painful for him to even think about Hibiya. Why did he leave? The experiment asked himself this question several times a day, and still hasn’t been able to figure out exactly what he did wrong. What was the final straw?]

Hibiya! Do you want to come with me t-

[Silence]

[Konoha frowned, letting his sentence trail off as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He had become so used to Hibiya’s company, so used to always being together, that it was still hard to accept he wasn’t here. Hibiya wasn’t with him. One day, he’d have to fully accept that, but today most certainly wasn’t the day.

Quickly, the experiment opened the front door, he had to get out of the house. He had to get away from his thoughts and the memories before he drove himself to the point of insanity, again. The pain was too much for him to bare. 

It was then that he saw the completely unexpected, causing his eyes to widen and his body to become motionless, the door slowly closing behind him. It was Hibiya. That was him, right? Or was it nothing but a figment of his imagination? Konoha questioned himself, but he knew for a fact that was Hibiya. It had to be him. He was sitting, down at the bottom of the steps, and appeared to be rather upset.

Konoha wanted nothing more but to run up to him and embrace him and never let go.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. Nothing. His heart raced, if he was human he would’ve surely fainted by now, but no. Instead, all he could do was stand motionless as his heart nearly burst out of his chest and as he stares at Hibiya.]

[ the sound of the door opening was what brought Hibiya out of whatever trance he had gotten himself into. The smell of the air, the surroundings, even the familiar people that walked by all reminded him of before. And it hurt, he couldn’t deny that, not for a second. He ignored the familiar sound at first, filing it under a list of things that may just have been an illusion.

But it took a moment and a half for his brain to register that it wasn’t an illusion. No, the door had definitely been opened and closed. But that place should be empty now….or he imagined it to be. Konoha must have left by now the brunette imagined. ]

[ and Hibiya just whips his body around, surprise loud and clear on his face as he looks up. and oh, oh how he wished that it had just been an illusion. but it wasn’t because there he was, Konoha. his mind began to backtrack as he scrambled to get his thoughts together because ‘Konoha is there, and he’s sad- is he?-, and he’s still hasn’t left and-‘

but he doesn’t say anything. Hibiya just sits there, dumbfounded as to why the other was still there. and yet he could read the experiment’s expression; not a hard task to be honest. he realized right there and then that he probably couldn’t have hurt him more even if he had tried. slowly, hibiya’s eyes closed as he took a deep breath, hoping that maybe none of this is happening.

but when he opens them again, he still sees that familiar white haired figure and it’s like a stab to the gut as his heart sinks to his feet and probably underground as well. hibiya doesn’t open his mouth. he wasn’t sure what to say. ]

[Suddenly his head was a mess, nothing made sense anymore. He didn’t know what to do or what to say, he didn’t know anything anymore. Hibiya was here, he was back. Of course, he would come back. This was his house, wasn’t it? Konoha took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down enough just so he could think properly. It didn’t help much. The experiment took note of Hibiya’s expressions, each of them making his heart ache more and more.

Hibiya wasn’t happy to see him.

That much was obvious.

His expressions were ones of pure terror, sadness, along with other negative emotions. Konoha knew the boy well enough by now to know this much, and that made him feel even more horrible about himself and this situation they were now faced with. He should be gone. He should’ve left.

Konoha instantly had so many regrets as he stepped down a few stairs, slowly, his legs shaking quite a bit. What should he do? Should he even do anything? No, no.. he couldn’t hurt Hibiya again. Konoha wouldn’t allow himself to do anything that could possibly hurt the boy.]

I’m sorry.

[Konoha whispered, tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks, as he continued to step down the stairs. Stopping for a split second when he was standing directly next to Hibiya. He couldn’t stay here. It was clear he wasn’t wanted anymore, and he couldn’t blame the boy for wanting him gone.

It was very difficult, to leave. He wanted to tell Hibiya so many things. ‘I’ve missed you so much!’ ‘Please don’t leave again…’ ‘I love you’ but he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything more.

The experiment started to run, as far away from Hibiya as he possibly could, far away from their house, far away from everything. The tears showing no sign of stopping. There was no other choice, was there? Besides, Hibiya was okay. Now he’d be able to return to living in his house and enjoying his life again. Everything would be okay. Even without him there.

Everything would be better now.]

[ everything went too fast for Hibiya. one second he looked like a deer in the headlights and the other was crying and it was his fault wasn’t it it probably was. and when Konoha stood right next to him he looked up into those red eyes that he still loved even at that moment. his arm rose somewhat, as he reached out weakly towards the older teenager. ]

"K-Konoha…!"

[ at the last syllable of Konoha’s name, Hibiya’s voice cracked as he finally felt his throat choke up with the feelings that were beginning to overwhelm him. everything was going wrong and he was certain, just one hundred percent certain that Konoha hated his guts.

And then he saw the other break into a sprint.

At first, Hibiya’s shocked expression didn’t change, as he just stared at Konoha’s back become smaller and smaller, to begin joining with the background. Half a minute later something in him clicked, as his wits finally came back together and he knew he couldn’t just stay put, staring off to the distance.

Hibiya broke out into a sprint, and for once he was glad that he was the fastest in his class. His feet carried him as fast as they could, he could hear his heart pounding against his ear, but he could still breathe. But he was approaching the white haired boy, closer and closer with each second. He stretched his arm outwards once more. ]

KONOHA!!!

(via konohaha-deactivated20130701)



experimentalfoliage:

[It was another day. Another day without Hibiya. The experiment sighed, slowly turning a door knob and walking toward the front of the house. He’d have to leave one day. He knew staying here even without the boy he loves so much wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. This place was all he had to remember Hibiya by. Konoha could go to every room and instantly remember the times he spent with Hibiya there, the times where the two of them were oh so happy together. The times he thought would last forever. It was foolish of him to ever think that, wasn’t it? He was just leading himself into believing the happy future he sought after so much was possible.

Now, in this world without Hibiya, he simply gave up. On everything.

Konoha admitted to himself that he was a failure. A failure of an experiment, and a failure as a person. A failure as Hibiya’s lover. He tried so hard to keep Hibiya safe, to protect and love him, but in the end, he was able to do neither. Konoha would never forgive himself for this. Never. It was painful for him to even think about Hibiya. Why did he leave? The experiment asked himself this question several times a day, and still hasn’t been able to figure out exactly what he did wrong. What was the final straw?]

Hibiya! Do you want to come with me t-

[Silence]

[Konoha frowned, letting his sentence trail off as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He had become so used to Hibiya’s company, so used to always being together, that it was still hard to accept he wasn’t here. Hibiya wasn’t with him. One day, he’d have to fully accept that, but today most certainly wasn’t the day.

Quickly, the experiment opened the front door, he had to get out of the house. He had to get away from his thoughts and the memories before he drove himself to the point of insanity, again. The pain was too much for him to bare. 

It was then that he saw the completely unexpected, causing his eyes to widen and his body to become motionless, the door slowly closing behind him. It was Hibiya. That was him, right? Or was it nothing but a figment of his imagination? Konoha questioned himself, but he knew for a fact that was Hibiya. It had to be him. He was sitting, down at the bottom of the steps, and appeared to be rather upset.

Konoha wanted nothing more but to run up to him and embrace him and never let go.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. Nothing. His heart raced, if he was human he would’ve surely fainted by now, but no. Instead, all he could do was stand motionless as his heart nearly burst out of his chest and as he stares at Hibiya.]

[ the sound of the door opening was what brought Hibiya out of whatever trance he had gotten himself into. The smell of the air, the surroundings, even the familiar people that walked by all reminded him of before. And it hurt, he couldn’t deny that, not for a second. He ignored the familiar sound at first, filing it under a list of things that may just have been an illusion.

But it took a moment and a half for his brain to register that it wasn’t an illusion. No, the door had definitely been opened and closed. But that place should be empty now….or he imagined it to be. Konoha must have left by now the brunette imagined. ]

[ and Hibiya just whips his body around, surprise loud and clear on his face as he looks up. and oh, oh how he wished that it had just been an illusion. but it wasn’t because there he was, Konoha. his mind began to backtrack as he scrambled to get his thoughts together because ‘Konoha is there, and he’s sad- is he?-, and he’s still hasn’t left and-‘

but he doesn’t say anything. Hibiya just sits there, dumbfounded as to why the other was still there. and yet he could read the experiment’s expression; not a hard task to be honest. he realized right there and then that he probably couldn’t have hurt him more even if he had tried. slowly, hibiya’s eyes closed as he took a deep breath, hoping that maybe none of this is happening.

but when he opens them again, he still sees that familiar white haired figure and it’s like a stab to the gut as his heart sinks to his feet and probably underground as well. hibiya doesn’t open his mouth. he wasn’t sure what to say. ]

(Source: augustcycle, via konohaha-deactivated20130701)



there must only be one ending: cryingsummer: augustcycle: Wh….[he does his best to regain some sort... 

cryingsummer:

augustcycle:

cryingsummer:

augustcycle:

cryingsummer:

cryingsummer:

augustcycle:

image

Wh….

[he does his best to regain some sort of a poker face. He’s done it before, and he can do it again.]

image

Fine. Don’t think I’ll give up, though. Not even for a second.

Such a boring face!, at least show some emotion when playing…

Hundreds of years?, that’s a long time to slaughter you. And don’t even think about me actually changing your fate. No matter how far you run, how loud you can shout, no one can hear you, no one can really save you.

I never asked you to change my fate, since I know all you’d do is laugh at me. I’ll find a way. I guess I’ll have to save myself somehow, right?

 Changing the future can also change your fate. And please, I laugh too much at your pain. Let’s switch it up with new things. [ grins ] Gee, I don’t know. Don’t ask me, you’re the kid who’s making the decisions here. I’ve lost count to the people I’ve trapped in my hands actually. But a kid like you wouldn’t really understand, would you? 

[ he grimaces, placing his hands in his pockets. ]

I think I understand enough. I don’t want to deal with you anymore, I never did, but you just can’t leave. You just want to make my life impossible.

But I won’t let you!! I won’t! I promise that! So whatever you want to do, then do it! I’ll resist it and stand back up!

 True. That’s what you keep on saying. I’m not sure what my goal is. But you’re a very fun toy to play with in this area. Seeing you suffer is pretty amusing, although seeing you and your lifeless eyes makes this game boring. Maybe if you did something out of the ordinary, I would think about sparing a couple days or so…

I’m not some toy for you to play with, Kagerou!! Do you ever just listen?! And what do you even mean by “out of the ordinary”!? As if I’d do anything for you!

[ and that was the story of how Hibiya’s calm exterior blew away. It’s hard to wear your heart on your sleeve ]



[ to think that the city didn’t seem foreign would be an understatement. the tall buildings, the intersections that made his skin crawl, and now the summer heat that he knew so much and was so sick of. he wasn’t sure why he left either. in a rush of panic, he had just gotten up and left to a relative’s house and there he had stayed until he realized that he had to confront things. right?

he walks up to the stairs to where he lived and for a second, the place seems daunting, almost too much. he wanted to turn around and run back to where he came from. he had no idea how konoha’s reaction would be- oh god konoha.

instead of making his ways up the stairs, hibiya does the next best thing and sit down at the foot of the steps, his head resting on his hands and his knees brought up to his chest. he’ll go in. sometime. probably. he couldn’t spend the night outside. ]


1 year ago · 14 notes

there must only be one ending: cryingsummer: augustcycle: Wh….[he does his best to regain some sort... 

cryingsummer:

augustcycle:

cryingsummer:

cryingsummer:

augustcycle:

image

Wh….

[he does his best to regain some sort of a poker face. He’s done it before, and he can do it again.]

image

Fine. Don’t think I’ll give up, though. Not even for a second.

Such a boring face!, at least show some emotion when playing…

Hundreds of years?, that’s a long time to slaughter you. And don’t even think about me actually changing your fate. No matter how far you run, how loud you can shout, no one can hear you, no one can really save you.

I never asked you to change my fate, since I know all you’d do is laugh at me. I’ll find a way. I guess I’ll have to save myself somehow, right?

 Changing the future can also change your fate. And please, I laugh too much at your pain. Let’s switch it up with new things. [ grins ] Gee, I don’t know. Don’t ask me, you’re the kid who’s making the decisions here. I’ve lost count to the people I’ve trapped in my hands actually. But a kid like you wouldn’t really understand, would you? 

[ he grimaces, placing his hands in his pockets. ]

I think I understand enough. I don’t want to deal with you anymore, I never did, but you just can’t leave. You just want to make my life impossible.

But I won’t let you!! I won’t! I promise that! So whatever you want to do, then do it! I’ll resist it and stand back up!



hibiyasexual replied to your post: hibiyasexual replied to your post: hibiyasexual…

YES HIBIYA PLEASE BE HAPPY AND STAY HAPPY AND HAVE FUN AND BE PURE AND ENJOY THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AHEAD OF YOU I WILL STOP BOTHERING YOU

Ahh, well, we can always talk, miss, I don’t really mind.